Daddy signed you up....

Back in August, Jamie called and asked what we had on the calendar for September 9th.  There was nothing down so he told me to mark it off... clearly he had scheduled something.  Little did I know the magnitude of what was going to happen on that Saturday morning and days to come.

Jamie had signed him and Justin up to be partners at the 343 Throwdown Crossfit competition at Crossfit Wylie.  I had the biggest chillbumps when he told me!!   Justin's reaction at first was a big smile...then he was somewhat questioning it since he wasn't able to go practice a whole lot due to work.  Jamie told him all along 'we are just doing it for fun!'  I believe those words from Daddy were all Justin needed, and he was ready to go!

There were three different WODs (workouts) which they would do together...dividing them up as needed.   The director of the competition knew Justin would need specific modifications... no big deal.  He was wonderful!!  As they began the 2nd WOD, there was talk about what he would do since there was a run involved.

Yep, you guessed it!   Justin took off and made that lap...not just once but a few times during that time allowed for the workout!  Oh the smile on his face says it all!!


The 3rd WOD was beginning, and it included some abmat situps which Justin couldn't do without someone holding his feet.  Jamie said, "let me take them all... you just do the rest as much as you can."  I'll never forget as they made their way through the three rounds.  Towards the end of the 3rd round when the rest of the competitors had already finished, they gathered around Jamie and Justin's square and began cheering them on as they finished the workout.  Immediately after finishing, Jamie grabs Justin and hugs like they've never hugged before.. He was a very proud Daddy & Justin was very thankful for his strong Daddy!  The high fives and hugs from literally every competitor in that round was unbelievable along with the tears from all the spectators watching!!



As I went over my notes this past Saturday morning at 4:00am before my very first speaking engagement ever, God totally spoke in a big way about these three pictures!!!
1.  He's 'signed us up' for some challenges!  He knows that we are capable of great things because He will be with us and He is ABLE to do immeasurably more than we imagine or ask!  These are never meant to be done on our own... they are meant for us to know how much we need Him!
Will we be obedient and show up or have excuses why we can't?
Is it a hard conversation?  Is it a job change?  Is it reaching out to someone who has hurt you and offering forgiveness to them?  Is it accepting Him as your Lord & Savior?
What is it for you?

2.  I realized watching this that it's exactly how God is with us.  It really doesn't matter what anyone else is doing or amount they are 'lifting'.... He just wants us to be willing and He will carry most of the weight anyway.

3.  I also realized that when we let the Holy Spirt work in us, we are capable of more than our brain tells us.  Watching Justin take off and run when he wasn't planning on it just showed me that when we let God work, we realize we can do A LOT MORE than we think!

4.  Talk about watching a picture of "a great cloud of witnesses". These other men had already completed their challenges, and they came over to cheer on Jamie and Justin.
Hebrews 12:1 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked our for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus"
Think about those that have gone before you and are currently cheering you on to finish this life with perseverance!!!

5.  Just imagine when our challenges in this life are over, Our Heavenly Daddy putting His arms around us saying "well done!"

What will that day look like for you?

Haven't done so well in the past... remember there is NO condemnation for those in Jesus...
Ask him to forgive you and start fresh today saying YES to HIM!!

Don't know Him and aren't sure of your eternity?  PLEASE ask how you can be sure!!

Dreams, Dates & Dead Mice

I have this passion in me that has been burning for quite some time.

I want so deeply for people to know that God is very real, He's very much a part of our every day lives, and He wants to do immeasurably more than all you can imagine or ask!

Here's just a glimpse of my last 24 hours and how I know He is real and His Holy Spirit is so so powerful!

Let me give you just a bit of back ground...Back in February, my dream of speaking became very real as I received an email from the FBWomen's Ministry leader, Trish Lappin, asking me to speak at their conference on September 16th.  This email came on a day when there was some very real hurt going on in my heart.  As I read it, I was in awe because I have been dreaming about this and praying for God's perfect timing for several years. That morning, I told one of the boys, as he was going through a storm, to stay focused.  God has big plans, and we just have to keep our eyes on Him.



I believe our attitude and mindset changes EVERYTHING!!

Fast forward a few weeks when I was asked to give a title to the conference so they could start working on marketing materials and promotion.  After a few days, I realized a theme that just kept crossing my path and my mind, so I emailed it to Trish.  "Moving Mountains" is the theme and Matthew 7:7 is the foundation of the whole day.  "ASK and it will be GIVEN to you, SEEK and you WILL FIND, KNOCK and the door WILL BE OPENED to you."

Then I see this pop across my facebook.... y'all... dreams REALLY do come true!!  There is a real date on a calendar that says "Trisha Graham" as the speaker!!!  None of this is about me... it's all about Him and His power which is what I want to explain today.

Just Sunday morning (two days ago) in our Young Married Growth Group, I made the statement about Jesus being the best teacher ever.   With several teachers in our class, we all agreed than when you teach the kiddos something, you test them to see if they 'got it.'

So now between that statement and titling the conference "Moving Mountains", God is giving me and Jamie an opportunity to pass a test.  Yesterday, we had C&D out because the boys air conditioner wasn't working.  Upon checking out the system, Keith found that mice had had a feast in our unit resulting in us having to replace the entire outside unit which is around $5,000.  Really, mice?!?!  What in the world?  Then, as Jamie left for work this morning, he notices a hose laying on the ground under his truck as well as wires hanging.   We are pretty sure the dogs were after something up in his truck.   As he begins to drive it, messages come across like 'four wheel drive disabled' and "anti-lock brake system disabled."  

We don't know yet what the dollar amount on this one is, but here is what I do know.... God knows! This alone is HUGE!!  A few years ago, I would have sat here crying about how we were going to pay for everything and why did it have to happen to me.   But, as the Holy Spirit prompts, I remember to "count it all joy when I face trials because the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. "  James 1:2-4

After Jamie called, I sat down to read and journal....

Y'all this was the top of my page in my journal as I turned to an empty page to write...
  
Notice the verse!!!!!  Matthew 7:7 (see above... yes!  It's the women's conference foundation!)

No doubt, we are facing these mountains because it's only going to be through Him that they move which will result in us being able to have yet another picture of How God is so so real, He's very much a part of our daily lives, and He wants to do immeasurably more than we can imagine or ask according to His power at work in us to Him be ALL GLORY!!!

Amen!!!

I can't wait to write again and explain how God moved these mountains!!

Celebrating & Struggling

I am beyond excited to announce that this Friday, May 12th, Justin will be graduating from Navarro College with his Associates Degree in Applied Science.   He has done it! Praise Jesus!

He has gone for two years, lived in the dorms, worked on weekends, holidays and summers, and completed the requirements to earn this diploma.   We could not be more excited for him to experience this huge milestone in his life!

While it is extremely exciting, there is also a huge struggle going on for Justin.  Two years ago, it was no doubt what he was supposed to do.  The path was laid out and several things confirmed Justin was meant to go to Navarro in the John Deere Ag Mechanics program while working for Ag Power in Terrell.  He loved it!

It's not the same now.

He has come across some things that he is having to wrestle with that are well... they just stink!

He doesn't know what to do next, and when we talked the other day about what would be the best thing he could ever image doing, he said "Going to the ARMY with Jordan and then be a firefighter like him and Daddy."

















Everything up until now could be adapted for Justin to do with Jordan.  He played baseball, football, basketball, snowboards, rides his bike, and everything else they could imagine to get into and boy the things they thought of to get into.

This is really the first thing where, with his cerebral palsy, there is just no way with the physical requirements for both jobs.  I still believe that just any day God could miraculous heal him...and I do pray for that to happen...and he would be able to join Jordan and Jamie in these careers.

In the mean time, I watch him struggle.

It's not necessarily bad...but oh is it hard.

See, as much as I can't comprehend that there would be something better than Justin getting to join Jordan in the Army or Jordan and Jamie in the Fire Service, I believe with all my heart that God IS ABLE to do immeasurably more than all we can imagine or ask according to His power at work within us to God be the glory (Ephesians 3:20).

OH, it must be something really, really good!!

I loved how last week I got to sit down with Justin for an hour or so and explain as best as I could remember each and every miracle God has done in his life.  I remember the NICU like it was yesterday and one particular situation where they brought in a sono machine to scan his head for bleeds.  It was clear, but they didn't believe it so they brought in another machine. Machine after machine.... NINE machines later, the scans were still clear!  God is BIG friends!!!  Then the following week they wanted to rush him to Children's to do a heart surgery.  We asked for a time to be able to pray so they gave us a day or so.  Upon examination the following day, the hole in Justin's heart was closed!  I could fill books, and I certainly will one of these days, of how God has used Justin to show us how BIG He is!  But I realized in that moment, although I have told those stories hundreds of times, I'm not sure Justin has heard them specifically!  I went over them one after one and as specifically as my memory would work as tears streamed down his cheeks.

I loved being able to tell him how God has brought him so so far, and no doubt, He is not going to just drop him off now as a 21 year old.  He has something that we cannot even imagine that is perfect for him, and we can expectantly watch for what it is!

So, we come back to ask for prayers for Justin's next.  We have always had the best prayer warriors from the time we found out we were pregnant with Justin & Jordan, through the tough diagnosis, and 28 surgeries later between the three boys.  We are calling on you again to pray with us!
He has to make some important decisions over the next week or so and prayers for discerning exactly where God is leading would be appreciated.

What is really really cool (and God has used Justin to teach me yet another lesson) is that while this time is tough, Justin keeps going and doing things that blows my mind!  He has been working hard every day, and most days, he makes it to Crossfit on top of it!  Check out his newest accomplishment... wallballs!!  Grateful for our Coach that never seems Justin's limitations verses his potential!   Who knows?  Maybe Justin & Jordan will compete at the Crossfit games together...wouldn't that be ridiculously amazing!!!

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  Micah 7:7

We will always be eternally grateful for the many, many people that have prayed all the boys!
Prayer changes things... they are living proof!!

Comparison VS Complete

Why can't I be more organized like____________?  

She always has it all together.  

She always has her meals planned out. 

She always has spreadsheets ready for the tax person early.

She always has her laundry completely caught up.

She always puts things in her calendar and actually does everything on her to-do list.

And the list continues....

During the second week of January, the shoulder I've already had surgery on once decided to start hurting again and pretty persistently.  I tried to ignore it for a few days hoping it would go away (don't we love to do that with struggles), but I ended up giving in by the end of the week.  

I've been down this road.  I don't like it.  It halts a lot in my life... my workouts, my job, my doing laundry and other household chores, and just basics like carrying my bag into Jet's baseball games.  

Determined for this time to be different, I chose to see the chiropractor that has been treating Justin.... Dr. T... because he loves Jesus, and he crossfits so I know he wouldn't tell me I had to quit doing it because he understands.  

He began with massaging all the muscles that were so inflamed.  They were all inflamed from lifting things in ways I shouldn't have because of the pain that was in my shoulder.  Correct form is so important so that you gain strength and don't cause harm... hmmm,  first spiritual picture I saw coming out of this pain.  God has created each of us and called us "His Masterpieces" (Ephesians 3:20) which means we are all different and have different gifts.  Administration is not one of mine, and each time I try to compare myself to someone who is so organized, I think such harmful thoughts about myself.  I have to recognize that I am His masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (rest of Ephesians 2:10)  

My new correct form so I can be stronger in the area of being organized... 

Don't compare myself to anyone else rather....

Each day, letting the Holy Spirit guide me to complete those things in which He guides me to that day!

As Dr. T pressed on areas and rolled over knots, I squirmed all over that table in pain.  Again, I saw the picture of when God is working on me...it's not comfortable...down right painful, and I want to try to get away from it.  Then he directs me to lay on my right side.  He places a comfy pillow under my head, in between my legs, and one under my left arm and begins poking needles in me.  I've watched Justin go through acupuncture even in the top of his head...so I decided I could do this.  It wasn't too bad at first.  It definitely stung though!  He puts a warm lamp on me, turns the light off, and says he'll be back in a bit.  

While I laid there still, I didn't feel any pain.  Still in the key word... 

Hence one of my favorite verses...Be still & know I am God (Psalm 46:10).  

When I am still (mainly my thoughts) and KNOW He is God... that pain that I felt from a struggle... it's not there because I TRUST HIM to work it out!

But I chose to move one time on that table with the needles in my arm... 

WON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN... WOWZERS, THAT HURT!!  Much like it hurts when I am in the midst of a struggle and choose to move in my timing and not His timing.   

Sometimes it just seems like the struggles are just too much...  like there are already things in your life that you battle yet just like in Exodus when the Israelites were in the dessert, they looked up to see the Egyptians marching after them.  It says 'they were terrified and cried out to the Lord' (Exodus 14:10).   I'm fearful like this in many ways... will this pain (both physical with my shoulder and emotional with other things) ever go away? 

Moses answered the people "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today....  The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14) 

The next part is something new God showed me today (and several times already this morning!) Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me?  Tell the Israelites to move on." (Exodus 14:15)  and after that did,  God used wind to part the Red Sea...unbelievable!!!

Here's what I learned today... 

1.  Grumbling and complaining is just lack of faith.  OUCH!  That hurt my toes a bit this morning.  This inconvenience of shoulder pain and other struggles have at times resulted in complaining.  Where is my trust in God?  Instead of complaining, I can choose to focus on God's faithfulness in the past and know that I can face struggles with confidence rather than fear and complaining.   He is working all things out for my GOOD because I love Him (Romans 8:28).

2.   Every battle that I face is ultimately spiritual.  Satan wants to take me down so that I cannot love on people, be free to extend grace, and ultimately tell them about Jesus who died to give them LIFE eternally with HIM.  Therefore, I should do exactly what Exodus 14:14 says and let the LORD fight for me... I need to be still!

3.  When He directs, move on! (Exo 14:15)  While it seems weird that it says "move on" right after "be still",  it made complete sense to me this morning.  Many times I've prayed and prayed, but as God directs, I don't move...almost like prayer was an excuse to postpone what I know to do.   But when the Israelites moved on, they saw BIG THINGS!   

This is where I am COMPLETE and don't find myself worried about struggles or others...

I know with God as my guide, I will see things like the Red Sea parting.. not necessarily a body of water, but MIRACLES just that big!!!

  It can happen!!  I have seen it happen...

**I have seen forgiveness and restoration in our marriage that is now better than I could imagine.

**I have seen our 26 week twin babies in the NICU struggling for every breath turn into strong 21 year olds serving in the US Army & attending college.

**I have seen our three year old walk up and say words that only could have come from the Holy Spirit.

**I have seen our little boy with cerebral palsy go from 'he won't ever walk and talk' to riding his bicycle, walking, and eventually running on the football field with his twin brother amongst a lot of other things!

**I have seen our little boy bleeding from his stomach, being in the ICU, and having surgery healed and be so very strong!

**I have seen our little boy go through something a parent never wants to experience only to see how God used it in others lives to help heal and love on them.

**I have seen our little boy who is deaf 'hear' Daddy's firetruck sirens and say "Daddy" weeks after having cochlear implant surgery at 2 years old.  

I watch expectedly as God uses this shoulder pain to remind me that 

'When I am weak, He is strong'

and know He is up to something and it is immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine!!

From Pizzaing to Parallel (well, mostly:)..)

Ski trips began for us as a family about 12 years ago for Christmas when we decided to quit spending money on more stuff that would fill our already full home.  Our boys didn't need any other gadget, more clothes (with the exception of underwear & socks... always need more underwear and socks for boys:)..), or more toys... grandparents did a great job of stocking them up on those things.

I have always loved the trips, but I haven't always loved to ski.   I have always been the girl in the pizza...wedging my way down the mountain to a group that has already made their way down the mountain, rested, and once I reach them, they take off again.
















From time to time, I've been talked into going to a new run, and I have never felt more terror in my life.  When your skis are not touching the mountain side that you have to go down to get down, that.is.just.wrong!   It's even more wrong, because pizza doesn't work like that!!  (I know several of my ski buddies are laughing... and I'm totally okay with that!)

So I decided this year on the couples trip to send the crew on ahead, and I was going to spend some time practicing what I had been taught by many, many teachers.  Bend your knees, lean forward, keep your skis together, turn your shoulders where you want to go, etc. etc. etc.  I have heard these for years, but why haven't I tried them?

Jordan asked me on a lift this year in Winter Park "What are you afraid of?"  Without hesitation, I said "Falling & Getting Hurt!"  That conversation sparked thoughts in my head that lead me to spend some time by myself, with Jesus, in Crested Butte in order to do things the way they were intended. Because let's just face it... the physical was only pointing out a spiritual lesson!!   The falling and getting hurt isn't fun whether it's physical or emotional so I always want to avoid it.... BUT in the mean time, I'm missing out on SO much the Lord intends for my life!

So off I go in Crested Butte, once I finally convinced Jamie and Tootie that I was totally okay by myself, attempting to get my skis closer and closer until they were together.  I stayed on greens which had some good steepness to try at the top and then leveled out into beautiful runs the rest of the morning.   I did one run so many times that the lift worker commented "Painter Boy lap girl" to which I gladly smiled and said "Yep!"  No embarrassment here... I'm going to get this down!





















Then Tootie and Jay see me, and we head over to a blue.  I had been down this blue last year so I knew what was coming, and it wasn't that bad.  We went down it, and I did okay turning to the right...it's the left that's just weird.  Then, in Tootie fashion, we go to "Let's try this one!" and as we ski down, I see Jay stopping at the edge and pointing me to a different direction (meaning it's steep! and bless his heart, he's trying to help me!).  Tootie says "Come On!  You Can Do it!"   To which I take my skis off and go back to the top to avoid the slope Jay was warning me might scare me.

I almost went because I didn't want to disappoint my sister, but I knew what I would do when I got scared.... I would revert back to my old ways of pizzaing and lose so much progress I had been making to learn how to ski correctly!

The final morning, everyone was asking me about going to the top.  I've been there before... pizzaed my way down... and I was tempted because I wanted to be with them.  But, I decided to stay working on what I was doing since I was making progress.  I get on the first lift enjoying my time with Jesus until He leads me over to the blues that Tootie and Jay had taken me the first day.  I was like "No! I'm doing so good right here."  He's like "Yes, and you'll do good there.  I will be with you.  You can do it."  (In case you are wondering..there was no audible voice...but you KNOW when He's leading and speaking!)  So, although I may fight with my sister about going... I try my very best to be obedient when the Lord leads...

After all, I know there is something big coming... and boy was there ever!! 

This slope was STEEP!  and LONG!  My legs went to go outward into pizza, but then I quickly stopped (because I needed to take this picture, too... although it isn't even close to showing how steep it was...to me anyway:)..)

As I've reflected on this moment since I've been home,  the Holy Spirit reminded me of when Jesus asked Peter to step out of the boat and walk to Him on the water.  He stepped out, but as soon as he took his eyes off Jesus
"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink" Matthew 14:29...
just the same as I started with looking at the incredible steepness, I go right back into pizza because I was scared... and would have missed out EXCEPT...

I made it!!  and I made it with my skies closer than they have ever been!!  I know this, too, because my legs hurt in different ways than they've hurt which means I was using different muscles since my legs were in different positions :)   AND LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL VIEW!!

I don't want the words like Jesus said to Peter "You of little faith... why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14) but many times I let FEAR dictate what I am going to do/think over having FAITH!

There are many things I've identified as fears in my life.... sad thing is most of them aren't even anything that there is a reason to fear other than satan just trying to put thoughts into my head.  Those same thoughts that have kept me from learning to ski correctly, practice correctly, and then therefore enjoy more time skiing with my family.  They are all negative, life sucking, trying to steal my joy thoughts...  

"For our struggles is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm."  Ephesians 6:12

When those thoughts come, I revert back to old eating habits, speaking habits, and more destructive thoughts!  I'll never be good enough for him/her....   They don't like me.... If only I could be more organized... I'll never get the weight off....  If only I would....  I'm exhausted!   I'll never catch up! 

See, I think a lot of my fear comes from not knowing what is going to happen in several situations that we are in right now.... just like not knowing what those slopes would be like that Jesus so gently directed me toBUT!!!!!  Yesterday, as I prayed and cried out to God, He sent several messages through people that didn't even realize I was struggling, arranged conversations with people who didn't even realize I was struggling, and showed me many, many times how powerful His word is...

"If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE."  John 8:31-32

"If humans were supposed to catch everything the first time then I don't think the Bible would be so redundant on things like "do not be afraid" or "do not worry" but it is, and it's okay to need reminders about anything!  Especially how much you are LOVED, CHERISHED, and A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER OF THE ONE TRUE KING!" (That was a text yesterday :)

"Just wanted you to know that I love you and that you are amazing! Happy Wednesday!"  (Another text!)

But here's what I've realized this morning.... I don't have to know everything when I know that the same God that made this beautiful picture for us to see does know everything and HE LOVES ME & IS WORKING EVERYTHING FOR MY GOOD!!  (Those messages and random visits yesterday weren't just coincidence... they were totally the Lord answering my prayers!)

AND AND AND.... He gave me this amazing, funny, wise, and crazy man to cheer me on, challenge me to be my best, and love me unconditional just like God does!   

Unconditional love from the Creator of EVERYTHING... just rest in that today!