"But My Mama CHOSE Peace"

Jamie calls me on a Wednesday morning at 7:30am (two days after a surgery to remove a tooth and clean infection from around the nerve below it) and says, "Hey, can you be here before 8:30?" Ummm... I haven't even taken a shower yet much less drive to McKinney.  Mrs. McGaughy's (our youth pastor growing up's Mom) funeral was at 10:00 in Southlake, and Jamie really wanted to go.

I came up with every logical reason in the world why it would be easier to stay at home, but the nudge to go was strong.  Quickly, I got cleaned up, put a few curls in my hair, and put on some cute clothes.  I made it to McKinney just in time to leave which Jamie was shocked :)

As we gathered with the family, it was wonderful to see familiar faces from our past, give hugs to lots of people that were instrumental in our younger years, and sit down to hear a wonderful service. Yeah, it sounds weird that a funeral would be wonderful, but it was!

The oldest daughter spoke first after a song and slideshow played.  She went over what had happened over the last couple of weeks, and thanked lots of people that had played a huge roll in helping her Mom.  Then she said something that I will never forget.  See, her Mom and Dad's house burned down a couple of years ago putting them in a hotel in their 70's.  While in the hotel, her Daddy got sick and passed away.  Then, she, herself, began having health issues.
Her comment was "But my Mama always CHOSE PEACE."

So many of her circumstances could have left her mad at God and bitter at the world.  She was in her 70's and had worked hard all her life.  It would have been easy to be discouraged and to spew words that 'felt good' to get out.  But instead, when her children and grandchildren came to visit her, she was on her knees praying, she was reading her Bible, or she was picking up the phone to check on someone.  (She did what she could do)

A sweet, sweet lady sent me this verse to make a shirt from over a year ago now.  At first, I was like that is not a Bible verse verses a cute saying, but then I opened my Bible to read the story.  Several things made me go HMMM when reading this passage.  A woman came to Jesus and clearly was led to use this expensive perfume to anoint Jesus before His burial.   While she was doing it, "those present" were questioning what she did and rebuked her harshly.  Ever have those moments?  But Jesus spoke and told them to "Leave her alone.... She did what she could do... and wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her (paraphrased)

What I have learned as I have pondered those words from the funeral,  thinking about how things happen that are just hard...no other way to put it, and how to respond to words spoken harshly against you.

"But My Mama CHOSE PEACE"

What does that mean to you and I?    

I would venture to guess that Mrs. McGaughy did not get to the point were she was peaceful, even during all of those hard things in life, by going to church, by reading her Bible, by singing worship songs or hymns (whichever your preference).  You are thinking...Trisha, what in the world are you talking about?  

I do highly recommend going to church, reading your Bible and singing worship but not if it's just something to check off your to do lists.  Instead of the lists of things to follow to be a 'good Christian', may I challenge you to sit with Jesus more.  Come to Him.  Rest in His Presence.  Relax as you trust Him. What does that look like?  Well, that is different for everyone just like parenting each child is different, and for me, it can be different every day.  It may be laying on my back on the concrete and feeling the wind blow over my face as I stare at the clouds.  It may be reading my Bible and asking God "What do you want me to do with this today?"   It may be listening to Jeremy Camp all day as I work focusing on the fact that He is who I work for and some days no music but rather silence as I calm my brain.   It may be playing with a 4 year old.  It can be all different things...the main point... our minds focused on the fact that He is PRESENT with us AT ALL TIMES and desires a close relationship with each one of us!  

When those moments hit us...because they will....

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7  

And can I give you one little hint that has helped me tremendously,

YOU CANNOT DO THIS IN YOUR OWN STRENGTH.... 

IT REQUIRES THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!

Oh the outcomes that come from living in HIS STRENGTH!!!

Just like the lady in the Bible, Mrs. McGaughy's story will be told by many and no doubt, Jesus will use it in big way.  Oh to leave that amazing legacy that my children would say at my funeral "But my Mama CHOSE PEACE."

Understand

Growing up, I was given the random abstract title, and my sister was given the concrete sequential title.  I didn't like that at all because it sounds much better to be concrete sequential than to be random abstract.  I didn't understand why I couldn't be more organized, better focused, and do things more orderly!

I've recently discovered this 'randomness' is actually a gift... no, you aren't going to find this term in the Bible under spiritual gifts.  Just give me a minute to explain.

Monday, when Jamie and I were running/walking trying to get a little exercise in, as we were finishing up, I grabbed my phone to take this picture.  I really didn't know why at the time, but as always when Jamie or the boys asks why I was taking such random pictures, I said "I'm probably blogging about that soon"  even though I have no idea at the time what it has to do with anything. 

 Usually I want to understand before I obey, but I'm trying my best to obey and know it will all make sense in God's timing.  

Well, this morning, my devo had 

Yet I am always with you: 

You hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.

Psalm 73:23-24

That was at 5:00am that I was reading this and jumped up and was like "That's it!  That is what the picture is about!" 

Life is hard!  If I'm being completely honest, one of the hardest things for this Mama has been releasing.  Releasing my boys to be all God wants them to be for fear of (I can't even come up with a word but if you've been here, you know).  

The day after Jordan and Courtney got married, I was flooded with oh so many emotions, and I didn't do so well.  Add to it that my left side of my mouth/jaw were in SO much pain-  everything was amplified.  I failed in being strong, in trusting God, and having faith that He was working everything out for my good (Romans 8:28).  I cried when he came by to get his things, and we all know how well, men love it when women cry!  NOT!  Did I think this was the last time I'd see him?  Did I think I wouldn't ever talk to him?  Oh the lies that flooded my thoughts and feelings that came until....

I walked back in the house to see Jet & Justin sitting there waiting patiently for me.  I bawled...like ugly cry.  Here, they have been SO patient as the last few months have been wedding, wedding, and more wedding.   I hugged them tightly and apologized for letting my emotions to things I couldn't control blind me to the fact that they had been so wonderful in waiting through all the painting, planning, and panicking about what life would now look like.    Jet says this to me..."Mama, you know if you let poison in your flower pot, it not only kills your flowers but hurts your soil."  Woah.... Woah... Woah....

Bro Clint has always taught us about protecting, watering, and feeding our flower pot (our family), but Jet just added a whole new piece to it.  He was so right, and I'm so thankful that the Holy Spirit gave him those perfect words to counteract all the lies that satan had been feeding my "soil." 

That night I went to bed to find this under my pillow...

Jet reminding me once again "Faith Doesn't Panic!"

Little did I know how much I needed that since over the next two weeks I would go through a lot of 'being still' waiting on meds to work for my infection around my nerve in my jaw then going into surgery to remove the tooth and clean the infection.  

During this time when I couldn't do anything besides rest, God blessed me immensely by showing me a few things...

1.  Don't put the pressure of your fullness on anyone besides Him...He's the only One strong enough to handle it.  It's too much weight for a spouse, a child, family member, or friend!  

"Whom have I in heaven but you? 

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever."  

Psalm 73:25-26

2.  Don't let fear cause you to miss the blessings right in front of you!

3.  Be ready for the blessings that flow from being obedient!

4.  Always Always Always remember God is holding your hand and guiding you!  Don't tug away trying to walk your own way...it's not safe emotionally, mentally, and ultimately physically.  To think about God sacrificing His very own Son to die for me even when I fail Him still blows my mind.  I fail Him daily, but He is still faithful...He still loves me... and He still wants me to know Him (the God of the universe) in a very personal way!

-I've seen God in some big ways in the last several weeks....

-I've watched my hubby as he has been challenged in new opportunities at work that aren't in his comfort zone yet realize it's exactly where God is growing him.  

-I've watched Justin go every Sunday to college and praying about where God wants him.  I've also watched him walk into Crossfit Lavon and complete every single workout to the best of his ability AND challenge others (even through smack talking) to be their best.   

-I've watched Jordan work hard to build his house, go to Fire Academy, take care of his sweet wife, and giggle with all of us.   

-I've watched Jet work hard and get all A's & B's and make his way to a starting position playing the entire game with some of his favorite people (remember the blog about the sidelines).  

-I, myself, have joined Crossfit and have done some things I never thought possible and know there are many more amazing things to come.  

-I've made lots of new friends and come across some amazing new opportunities!

-I've shared some awesome moments... watching Jonathon & Carissa become parents to sweet Lincoln, watching Amber's belly grow with hers and Randall's sweet miracle, and more that I can't share just yet...watching Emily reach out to hold her...watching the amazing sunrises and phenomenal sunsets...  I could probably type for another hour of all the ways I have seen Him, but there are some sweet customers that want their cute shirts :)

My point in all of this...

If life isn't looking exactly like what you thought it would or would like it to, try this..

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.  

I will be found by you,"  declares the LORD. 

Jeremiah 29:13-14

So now I see how He has used this 'randomness' in me to 

seek Him, 

find Him, 

and share Him with others!

He is so so faithful and worthy of ALL praise!!!
Thank you Jesus for not giving up on us and holding our hands as we go through life.  Thank you for the promise of eternity for those who trust in You!

Fighting for Marriage

This morning, I heard three words that always make my heart sink.
"We are divorcing" came from a women...a customer just dropping off something for me to decorate.
I immediately think of the children as I have been there as an 8th grade girl who's parents were divorcing.  It's no fun, and while all your friends are thinking about what new sweatshirt they want to buy, you are wishing life could be different.  Change is hard, and change that comes in the form of families splitting just rocks a child's world.

I then think of the times, yes, there were two, where those words were very close to coming out of mine and Jamie's mouths.  I remember clearly Jordan, at the age of 1..yes 1, bringing me his pacifier because I was crying all the time.  Kids are very keen to situations even at an early age.   Oh, we were THAT family on the outside...we went to church every time the doors were open.  We even sang in the choir and taught kids, but behind the door in our little apartment, we were dying inside.  Thank the Lord for a red headed man that was a marriage counselor our pastor sent us to.  I don't remember his name, but one day in heaven, I will be able to thank him for helping us although at the time, I didn't like him.

See, we each met with him individually and told him what was going on.  We then came together, and he talked to each of us in front of the other.  He started with Jamie and was telling him everything he needed to work on which I was almost vocally cheering him on because after all, I had been telling him the same thing over and over and over.   Then, he looked at me.  He began to tell me things I needed to work on.  Man, that wasn't so fun when it was ME that needed to do some things different.

Here's what we learned... Marriage takes work!!  Jamie and I couldn't be more different people.  He's very particular and a planner, and I'm the most random/abstract person you might meet.  He likes to get in the bed unmade.  I like for the bed to be made (which might be the ONLY thing OCD about me).  He likes tea made and refrigerated all night before he drinks it.  I like it freshly brewed and over ice.  He likes to chop food one way.  I choose to do it a different way, and it used to DRIVE HIM CRAZY!  Until one day we realized that it's totally okay to be different about almost everything as long as one thing is the same....  that we pursued the Lord with all our heart and allowed Him to love us and to love others through us.

Before we realized this, we were looking for each other to fulfill our every need, and that is WAY TOO much weight for any human being.  We would get frustrated because the other wouldn't do or say what we wanted them to do or say.  When expectations weren't met, we'd just look to other things or people since we weren't happy with each other.  This can snowball quickly, and before long, you find yourself one day not wanting to even be around your spouse.  I know, I have been there.

So how did we get from there to where we are now...
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and how long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19

This was a day by day, new mercies every day kind of work.  It didn't just happen over night.. after all, we didn't fall apart over night.  We tried to learn more about each other, and realized the bed could be half made and half unmade and it was totally fine :) We let the Lord heal our hearts and then fill our hearts!

Please hear my heart that if you have already been through a divorce, Jesus does not condemn, neither am I.  But if you are married and struggling to decide whether you want to stay married or not, please please please don't give up...don't let satan win!  Take some time to just breath and let the Holy Spirit fill your heart and your spouses heart (meaning you have to be quiet...which is hard to do).  Pray for God to do a mighty work that only He can do.. and I promise you, you can get to the other side, and say wow! God!  You are BIG!!!

What I've learned about the sidelines...

No one wants to be on the sidelines.  When you go to practice, work hard, and your family is watching, you want to get in the game!  But there is something about the sidelines that God used Jet in last week's game to teach me that is so important!

The sidelines are not a bad place!

You are there because you are wanting to be in the game!  You have come to the practices, you've studied the plays the coach has given you, and you've put in the work for when he calls your name to get on the field!

Stay with me... even if you don't care a thing in the world about football!  There is a spiritual picture that was made super clear to me this week!!

See, as former youth pastors, we were busy, busy all the time (like being on the field 100% of the time), but over the past 18 months after retiring, there have been times I've kind of felt like I wasn't 'in the game' per say as far as serving the Lord.  OR maybe that was just satan trying to distract...

Maybe God has had us on the sidelines for a bit...and today, I can say... I'm thankful for the sidelines!

Sidelines are where you can rest in between plays.  A tired and weary soul isn't at it's best by any means, and I'll be the first to admit I don't rest enough. Take a knee, take a deep breath, and let God refresh your soul!  It's a good place to be because it prepares you for the next time He calls you to go in the game!
Psalm 46:10 is probably one of my all time favorites... "Be Still & Know that I am God".  
What a picture of resting... instead of getting mad at 'the coach' for not letting you play.  Know that He has your best interest at heart when he wants you to rest for a bit and let Him handle it!

Sidelines are where you can rehydrate!  You can easily become dehydrated if you don't take time to drink water in the game.  Taking the time to take in The Living Water is crucial for our souls! John 7:37 says "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."  

When we find ourselves dry, all it takes is to stop and take in Jesus. Reading His Word, speaking His name, or maybe just watching for how He wants to show you Himself today through a breeze or beautiful sunrise!







Sidelines are where you are encouraged by other teammates and where you get to encourage other teammates.  If you are so distracted by not being in the game, you may miss an opportunity to bless someone really close to you who might have just 'dropped the ball.'  We all drop the ball in life...which is why we need Jesus!  We aren't perfect...but He IS!!  We need to look for those moments where we can be encouraging others, and we also need to be humble enough to receive encouragement from others.   1 Thessalonians 4:18 Therefore encourage one another.  Ask God to show you who might need encouragement today!



Where are you today?
Are you a spectator in the game of life?  Football isn't for everyone, but everyone can be in the game called life for God.  We each have special skills that He's equipped us with in order to do a specific job, and I don't mean a position at a church (although I love church staff:)..).  I'm talking the smile that someone needs to see, a hug that someone needs to feel, or a positive word that someone needs to hear.  

Without the offensive line, the quarterback wouldn't be able to do anything but run for his life.  He wouldn't have any time to survey that their might be a receiver that went far down the field and could catch a pass that would score points for their team!  Without the quarterback throwing the ball to a receiver,  he wouldn't be able to run in for a touchdown.  Without a defensive line, the other team would have a clear path to run to defeat us every time.  Without the safety, a pass the opposing team would throw would be caught every time.

Likewise, without everyone being suited up, rested, "well hydrated", encouraged, and ready to play when The Coach calls us in the game, we can get run over sometimes by our enemy.   Imagine if we all let Him call the plays, how different life would be.  Imagine Mom, Dad, Sister or Brother, if one person in a family decides to let God call the plays, what a difference it could make in your family.
Oh, this is not the easy train...this is work, this is sweat, and this is tears.  But when He calls you to go in, oh the chillbumps!!!  

Our Battle Is Not With One Another

Oh the many times I've been prompted to write this one, and honestly, out of fear, I have resisted. But my eyes were opened big yesterday morning, and I thanked God for helping me to see things in a different perspective.  

As I stood in the kitchen yesterday morning in the very early hours of the morning, I honestly was having a bit of a pity party.  My monthly visitor doesn't help me in these moments either rather makes it worse, but praise Jesus!  His Holy Spirit is much more powerful than any emotions and hormones:)

I have this HUGE nagging issue on my heart which has been there for quite some time but seems to keep getting more and more amplified around me.

I cannot understand for the life of me why there has to be ugliness!

One of the first things I remember teaching the boys to say is "Life is not a competition" because it seems as though they fought over everything... even whether the sky was blue or light blue.  It didn't matter... they were going to fight about it!  It's amazing how many times that little phrase has been brought to my mind!  It seems that insecurities, jealousy and lack of the Holy Spirit has taken things...and most of the time little things made big in my own mind... and caused some serious ruckus in many relationships.

Whether it be in marriages, parent to child, child to parent, coach to teammate or teammate to teammate, teacher to student, co-worker to boss, cheerleader to cheer sponsor, parent to teacher, church member to church member, family member to family member, friend to friend, we are all involved in many relationships in our lives.  Those relationships are important!  & guess who knows that and wants to destroy them...destroy us!

If you'll bare with my stick figure drawings, I think it will help explain exactly what God has shown me for months.   In our minds, when some kind of conflict arrises, we like to think of it like this....

When in reality, it is quite the opposite.  See, OUR BATTLE IS NOT WITH ONE ANOTHER!  Let me say that against... OUR BATTLE IS NOT WITH ONE ANOTHER!!   EVER!!  EVER!!!

 Ephesians 6:11-12 says "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms."

What happens when my happy gets bumped?  Or when someone doesn't agree with what I think?   Do I begin to lash out at the other person?  Even if it's not visible,  it still says a lot about what is going on in my heart.   In John 10:10 Jesus says "The thief comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy: I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  So if satan can twist things in my mind to help me justify my stance or my own opinion, he certainly will do just that because he doesn't want me to understand that we are all one team fighting against him!!!

In reality, it's supposed to be
me + Jesus +all other believers ALL TOGETHER
on one side of the seesaw helping to keep satan from knocking me off the full life!

Here's where I miss out...

I leave Jesus out of the situation which makes me all unbalanced. 

Ephesians 6 gives us the answer..."Be strong IN THE LORD and in HIS MIGHTY POWER.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.   Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all of this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keeping on praying for all the saints."

Always keep on praying... for all the saints!  

The time I spend with Jesus is the most important thing if I want to keep satan from throwing me all off balance.   It is HIS promises and HIS presence that helps me remember that when someone is ugly to me, it really isn't about me.  There is something going on in their heart that I need to pray for them instead of getting mad at them for being ugly to me.  Oh how very backwards this is from our natural...but won't you join me and live in the super natural!  Some of the biggest miracles I have witnessed is God helping me to release something that satan has had a grip on for WAY too long!  Won't you join me in truly living the abundant life!  

Good, Good Father

Our initial thoughts about God have a lot to do with how our relationship is with our Earthly Daddies.

Some think that God is just waiting around to punish us at our next mistake because all they remember is their daddies punishing them.  Some think that God isn't really a part of our lives because neither was their dad.  Yet, some are super blessed to have a constant, loving father very present in their lives.  (Notice I didn't say perfect because there is no such thing.)

As Justin walked in Friday night after taking Jamie's "still has the temporary tags because it's that new" new truck to show Nikki and Stephen some land, I was blessed to watch as Justin got to see a picture of what a loving God we have through Jamie's response to a not so pleasant accident.

The three of them walked into the kitchen where Jamie and I were finishing up dinner.  The look on their face was obvious that something wasn't right, and they were a little, I mean a lot, nervous. Then again, everyone is always playing jokes around here so I wasn't sure what was going on.

Justin started by saying that the gate wasn't working right.  As he pulled through it, the gate didn't stay open like usual, and it shut on the truck resulting in several scratches down the back right side.  I think Nikki was biting her lip out of fear of how Jamie was going to react, and Stephen began to confirm and testify for Justin that the gate was malfunctioning.  I can remember Nikki even saying "we prayed that they would go away!"

I asked how big the scratches were, and I think all three of them held their hands up different lengths:)  Nikki and I stayed in the kitchen as the guys went out to look at it.

A few minutes later, the guys returned, and to be honest, I was waiting for someone to say something, but they came in and acted like nothing had ever happened...not a word about the truck.

I wanted to bring it up, but I've really been trying to learn to be 'slow to speak'.  I know some of you are laughing as I've been known to talk anyone's ears off.  But allowing the Holy Spirit to lead and not forcing things is actually quite peaceful!!!

We grabbed our plates and ate dinner, giggled at stories, and enjoyed an evening of catching up.  Not a word was ever said about the truck rather everyone having a great time!

The next day,  as Justin was leaving out for work, I walked out to look at the truck myself.  To my surprise, it wasn't 'as bad' as I had envisioned (aren't most things!).  I asked Justin 'What did Daddy say when he saw it last  night?"   Justin replied, "He looked at it and said 'it's a farm truck'."  I smiled and told Justin to have a good day at work, and as I walked in the house I thanked God for Jamie's response.

It wasn't as if he didn't care about the truck that he had been saving to buy, but he cared more about Justin's heart!!

God is a loving, patient, and caring God.  He cares about our souls so much that He sent His only Son to die so that we may live with Him eternally.  That is BIG!!

Does He correct us?  Discipline us?  Absolutely!
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.   Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."  Hebrews 12:11

Who loves his child more- a father who allows the child to do what will harm him, or the one who corrects, trains, and even punishes the child to help him learn what is right?

Justin knew what was right.  He didn't drive the truck into the gate or sit there intentionally after it opened in order for the gate to close on it to purposely scratch it.  Even so, Jamie's words could have been so much different and probably would have if it weren't for Jamie, himself, realizing years ago what a loving God we serve.  

I'm not, in any way, saying Jamie is the perfect Dad (although I think he's pretty darn close:).   Jamie could use a lot of excuses about his past to justify acting differently, but he determined in his heart years ago that he wanted our boys to have different.  

Does he correct them?  Oh yes!  Does he punish them?  Definitely!  Has he done things he wished he wouldn't have?  Most certainly!  But he also can go to them, admit he was wrong, and ask for forgiveness.   

Dads, your role in your child's life, no matter what age, is OH SO VERY IMPORTANT!  Let me say it again... YOU ARE IMPORTANT in your child's life!

It doesn't matter if you feel like you screwed up 90% of the time... YOU HAVE TODAY!

First, RECEIVE our Heavenly Daddy's love & forgiveness as you fall at His feet!

Then, as the Holy Spirit leads, GO to your child!  Talk to him or her!  Restore that relationship no matter how ugly it might have been... God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to HIS POWER that is at work within us.  (Ephesians 3:20)

If you have not heard Good, Good Father by Chris Tomlin, please take a few minutes to click here to listen...

Good, Good Father

He really is Perfect In All Of His Ways!!

Time, Wind & Storms- But He Did It!

Never have I seen anyone so patient when patience isn't his strength.
Never have I seen anyone so confident when confidence doesn't come naturally.
Never have I seen anyone so determined when the winds picked up to change the sail.



Friday, January 22nd, we sat at a drop zone at Fort Benning, GA waiting to watch Jordan jump his 5th jump to graduate Airborne.  We were so excited, everyone was there with us, but the wind was blowing very hard on us, too.

















Uncle Jay, who was Airborne himself, said that the winds were too high to safely jump, and sure enough, one of the instructors posted on facebook that the jumps were going to be delayed until Monday due to the unsafe jumping conditions.  Never have we sighed so hard in disappointment because of all it took to get everyone there to celebrate with Jordan.   I began praying for direction as I told Courtney I would stay with her over the weekend if it worked out.



There were so many obstacles for my heart that day as Jamie would be doing his Captain's assessment on Saturday after taking and passing the written exam a few weeks earlier.  This was not the first time he had taken the test.  Several years ago, he took it, passed it, but due to budget cuts, the building of new stations had halted.  He swung almost that whole year to different stations and shifts as captain, but that was something he didn't care to keep doing as it was pretty exhausting.  When he took the test again, he told me he didn't know what he would do because he didn't want to tell admin that he didn't want to swing, but he just didn't think he could handle it for a whole new year.  We saw God big even though he didn't pass the test that year.  He scored a 69, but that was a complete answer that he wasn't meant to keep doing what he was doing.  He took the test several more times but wasn't successful including one last year.  He studied and studied...I've never seen him read as much as he did in over 26 years of knowing and being married to him.  He was disappointment, but he also knew what he needed to study more to take the next test.  Upon taking the test again, He PASSED!  I can remember that day because his phone rang and dinged all day long with Congratulations from his peers!  Oh how fun it was to watch as he answered the many, many calls and texts!

But that Friday night in Georgia was not so fun.  We waited and waited for Jordan to call us that day to see what was going on.  We stalled out around Fort Benning all day long, but we had a flight to catch late that evening.  With the airport being two hours away and not hearing from Jordan, we made our way to Atlanta.  After getting all the way there, my phone dings with "Mama, please don't leave." after Courtney's had the same message.  We are frantically going through so many thoughts and trying to pray, but we didn't have much time.  The rent cars were turned in, we got our luggage and tried to talk as we rode the tram to the ticket booth.  Justin and Jamie began to argue because Justin said he was staying, and Jamie said "No, you have college and you already missed."  Courtney is afraid of missing college on Monday as well as she had missed already during the first week.  Our emotions were everywhere because we didn't want to leave him alone for the weekend and no one to be there for his graduation, but there was so much going on at home that was necessary to get back....mainly Jamie's assessment on Saturday, January 23rd.  We made many circles within the same four square feet in Atlanta Airport.  Granny, Papa, Mimaw, Gigi, Uncle Jay, Aunt Tootie, Randall, and Amber already gave us hugs goodbye and made their way toward the terminal.  We were all so disappointed but not nearly as disappointed as Jordan was that his family was so close to watching him, had made special arrangements and spent a lot of money, and wasn't going to get to watch him jump or Uncle Jay pin his wings on.  Still trying to figure out what we were supposed to do, Jamie knew for certain he HAD to go back home.  He was also on shift the 23rd, and "it just so happened" (said with sarcasm since I totally believe God orchestrated this entire thing!) there was no way he could take off.  We went to the ticket booth to find out it would cost $723 to change our flight...yeah, that wasn't happening.  The sweet lady suggested we call the 800 number because they might could help us out.  We did, and while I was on hold (which it said 2 minute wait time) for over 10 mintues...all the while Jamie is getting close to missing the flight and we are opening up suitcase to rearrange who needs what....while I'm praying God, please make it incredibly clear what YOU want us to do... the nice Southwest Airlines lady comes on the phone and says she can change our flights for FREE!!   But do you know why... it was SNOWING!!!!  Those of you who know me well know the last time I drove on snow, I was hit head on and it totally my very expensive surburban!  I was like God... I was thinking the FREE was your clear sign, but this snowing thing isn't funny!!  He gently reminded me "Trust Me Trisha :)".  Courtney, Justin, Jet, and I get our tickets changed to Monday, and Jamie and Sharon began walking quicker than ever before to get to their flight home.
We started walking towards the the rent car places, and Justin says "I hope my implant charger is in our suitcase." since we did a lot of shuffling that was pretty ugly and quickly.  I simply say in my head, "God, I'd really appreciate Justin being able to hear this weekend" and we keep walking.  We get the rent car and head outside to sure enough big white snowflakes coming down pretty thick.  It was beautiful!!  I battled being scared, trusting God, being scared, trusting God, and all the while, I was watching three sets of eyes clearly paying attention to how I was going to handle this adventure.  I've not driven one time in GA, do not even like the thought of driving on snow, and it's close to 11:00pm at this point.  Jordan made reservations at a hotel right next to the gates at base, and thank the Lord for GPS, Courtney, Justin & Jet gave me directions all the way to our warm hotel room.

Saturday was interesting as Courtney and I picked Jordan up at the crack of dawn...well, we finally got to him after hitting many detours while trying to follow our gps to get around Fort Benning.  We were all exhausted so we went back to sleep, but I wanted to be up to talk to Jamie before going to work.  I always make him a glass of sweet tea before he leaves, and my heart really was hurting not being there for him on such an important day.  What a blessing it was to receive a picture of Randall and Amber bringing him a glass of sweet tea early that morning before he and Randall left for their shifts after being up extremely late!

I was able to talk to Jamie, and his voice was very strong!  He was glad we were there with Jordan and was anxious to get the day going.  The kiddos & I, after doing laundry because we had no clean clothes, ventured out for some lunch, grabbed some groceries, then played a couple of games of bowling.

It was a very fun, but tiring, and missing Daddy kind of day.  We were able to talk to him before we had to take Jordan back to base, and he said there was just no way he'd make it back but was okay because he was glad we were there to watch him.

Sunday morning, we attended church on base.  Talk about perspective....to be in a sanctuary filled with so many people who sacrifice SO MUCH down to the little boys who were grasping so hard at their Daddy and it left me wondering "Did he just get back?"  "Is he about to leave?"  It really made me think about the things I take for granted as well as the things I make a big deal that aren't really all that important.  I won't ever forget the preacher's sermon on being a transformational leader... not just having information about God but allowing that to transform who you are!  That's big!

We went to Olive Garden for lunch, and Justin took the tab to pay.  What an amazing experience that was to watch him be so selfless... it wasn't cheap :)  We began to head back to the hotel and got a quick call from Jamie.  He was having pizza delivered for us for dinner during the football games since he knew we had been eating a lot of sandwiches...so he says.  We go crash for a nap to be woken up to a knock on the door.... it was no pizza man... IT WAS DADDY!!!!   What an amazing surprise that I still laugh at my disbelief!

It was such a blessing to wake up Monday morning, eat breakfast, and head out on a beautiful sunny morning to watch hundreds of soldiers parachute out of huge planes for their final jump for graduation.  Graduation was surreal as that was our Jordan out there with all of those soldiers who've gone through so much training to...at any moment... go to war for me, you, all of us!

We all get back home safely and expecting to hear that week about Daddy's Captain's Assessment. Week 1 passes with no information, week 2, still no information, and during week 3, a couple of text or calls are made that he is #2 after the assessment, but nothing confirmed by the big boss men and only one spot available.  Bittersweet conversations happen over the next couple of weeks as there is talk that one of the captains will be retiring early due to medical reasons.   Jamie is finally able to talk with him directly, and what amazing memories of the words he spoke to Jamie!

Then, the email comes from the Chief that his interview with him is scheduled.  As Jamie got his Class A on yesterday morning,  a huge line of storms were coming through McKinney.  He rode backwards in the engine he normally drives, and as much as the water was coming down, so were his emotions about this moment.  They receive a call that it's postponed so Mr. Not So Patient in the Past... now has to wait even longer, but oh did he know the power of the Holy Spirit!  I didn't hear from him for hours.  Thankfully, Jet kept my mind busy while attaching a volleyball to a fishing pole and making baskets in the basketball goal:)  

Then, "I, am, so in love with you" began playing...if you've been around, you know that is Jamie's ring tone and you are probably singing it as you read those words!  He says "Hello Mrs. Captain Graham!"  I'm overwhelmed...this big, big moment for him and he was making ME feel special!

As he spoke and told me all of what had happened and the special, special words that were said, I couldn't help but just thank God for all the waiting, all the storms (not only in this situation but our marriage, our life) & all the time it took.... for this moment was BIGGER THAN BIG!!

This mornings reading sums it up...(it's a little long but look how much you've already read :)
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." declares the Lord.  
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways 
and my thoughts than your thoughts.  
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth;
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."
Isaiah 56:8-13

Praise God for His perfect timing... ALWAYS!!
& Praise God for my sweet, sweet hubby who is
now a CAPTAIN for the MCKINNEY FIRE DEPARTMENT!!
WOOHOO!!!

'My jaw is locked open!!'

This is real life friends.  I just can't make this up.... I will be completely honest in hopes to give someone else encouragement and hope!!

This morning, I was just wrapping up my awesome Bible study and posted on Facebook with how God showed me how to guard your hearts since it's the wellspring of life.

I wrote these words...
Phil 4:7 says 'and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

It's the key verses before that are how you get to that point...

and literally, I typed
vs 6.. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
(Mamas, I know the world says we are supposed to worry because "that's just what we do" but this says not to be anxious about ANYTHING)

I added a couple of more sentences with a cute little picture and hit post.

Not 15 minutes went by, and my ring tone for one of the boys goes off.   It's Justin with these words...
"My jaw is locked open!!"

It's a group text with Jamie who is coming off shift but is still in McKinney.
Here's what happened in my brain for a split second... well probably a little more than that...
Oh my gosh!  I'm coming to get you and we are going to the ER.  Of course, we just got our flexible spending cards loaded back up but they are about to be empty again.  He's going to have ANOTHER surgery...really, can this kid take any more?  I wander how long the recovery.  Oh no, we are going to see Jordan graduate next week.  We can't have surgery now.

But thankfully, another few seconds roll by and the Holy Spirit nudges me to remember what I just posted!
Phil 4:
4  Rejoice in the Lord always...
Lord, I'm not sure how to rejoice over this but I want to know how.
5  Let gentleness be evident to all...
No screaming at Jet to hurry... No screaming at Jamie for being in McKinney... No screaming at Justin for having this since 6:38am and texting us at 7:35...
6  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
God,  I don't want to be anxious...it definitely doesn't help this.  Thank you for Justin being safe while driving to work with his jaw locked open.  God please do what only you can and work this out for his good.  Direct us where to go, who to call, what to do so Justin can have some relief of this painful situation.

I had to continually keep repeating over and over 'do not be anxious, thank you God for being in control, I do not want satan to win in my heart today' and when I say over and over, I mean over and over and over!  

Jet and I load up to take him to school, and after speaking to Jamie and Justin confirming he was okay to drive more, he was going to meet me at the dentist office.  

First song as soon as we get in the suburban...

Same Power by Jeremy Camp...  Same power that rose Jesus from grave lives in us... AMEN!!!

Thank you Jesus for that reminder and Jet getting to hear that before heading into school.

Then my Mama tears were wanting to start to kick in since I was by myself and 

"If We've Ever Needed You" & "Lord, I Need You" play back to back as I'm getting to Justin.  Unbelievable on timing as always God!

I meet Justin at the dentist and praise God our oral surgeon that did the boys wisdom teeth answered the phone.  The nice front office lady while trying not to seem alarmed instructed us to come on in and see if the doctor can fix it for us before trying the ER.

On the way, Justin recognized "You Never Let Go" coming on the radio and again, we are so so thankful for the reminders that just keep coming.  

We walk in and the lady is handing me paperwork while the nurse takes us right back.  I hand her my insurance card to her replying "We are out of network with them now."  At this point in my head I am saying "I don't care if it costs my entire flexible spending card and everything I have to my name, GET MY SON HELP PLEASE!"  But instead of backlashing at her because I'm a little emotional watching him hurt, I just smile and say 'ok!' 

Thankfully, the doctor comes in immediately and asks me what happened.  While I was answering, he is digging around in the cabinet and talking to the nurse, and I'm thinking 'why did you ask!' But again, the Holy Spirit prompts me (I'm realizing He's really good at that if I'm paying attention to see it) and I just sit back and watch.  Right after I relax in the chair, the doctor has both hands in Justin's mouth and is fixing his jaw.  

Two seconds, and it's ALL DONE!! PRAISE JESUS!!!  And guess what, that doctor that looked like he wasn't paying any attention says "Don't worry about filling that out... I'm not going to charge you!"

What!  Did you hear that?  Oh my goodness... in 21 years of A LOT of doctors, I've never heard those words.  Thank you Jesus!

Justin had to leave this ice on for 1 hour, take some Advil, and he could go back to work!

That's just how good God is when I allow Him to do His job instead of trying to do it myself!

Oh the adventures and privilege of being Justin's Mom!